Do you remember lying
fully dressed in your bed in that Japanese hotel in New York a few years
ago? Writhing in mad laugher like brain diseased cows. Perhaps at our
own stupidity. Or that of others. At our sadness that overtook us like
legions. At the absurd things women have uttered to me during sex. Inane
things said in return. Perhaps about that time in high school, I pretended
to be a radio disc jockey, booming corny voice and all, and granted false
limousine ride to that grim girl from math class. I remember our laughter
always, holding off that Egyptian dark dullness of your depression, for
moments fleeting like the blur of blue wind. Maybe we were seventeen,
that one time I tried to kiss you. Why didn't you close your eyes? Perhaps
you knew, that if you locked them tight, your eyelashes pointing down
like thin fingers towards your center, if you had let go, we would have
fallen in love. Perhaps you knew you needed me never to know you, see
you, as a women. But sitting here, imaging you having fallen again into
that auburn void, that bottomless
despair,
I wished you would have shut your eyes, if only for
a moment.
Do you remember lying
fully dressed in your bed in that Japanese hotel in New York a few years
ago? Writhing in mad laugher like brain diseased cows. Perhaps at our
own stupidity. Or that of others. At our sadness that overtook us like
legions. At the absurd things women have uttered to me during sex. Inane
things said in return. Perhaps about that time in high school, I pretended
to be a radio disc jockey, booming corny voice and all, and granted false
limousine ride to that grim girl from math class. I remember our laughter
always, holding off that Egyptian dark dullness of your depression, for
moments fleeting like the blur of blue wind. Maybe we were seventeen,
that one time I tried to kiss you. Why didn't you close your eyes? Perhaps
you knew, that if you locked them tight, your eyelashes pointing down
like thin fingers towards your center, if you had let go, we would have
fallen in love. Perhaps you knew you needed me never to know you, see
you, as a women. But sitting here, imaging you having fallen again into
that auburn void, that bottomless
despair,
I wished you would have shut your eyes, if only for
a moment.